So, precisely one month ago, I landed a new job. It was a position for which I was overqualified and would be underpaid, but that I took because of the measurable societal benefit. On the second morning of work, my boss, a youngish woman said in response to one of my task-related questions, "We are going to have a meeting at one (o'clock) and then we'll conversate some more." We'll do what? Do you mean converse? Oh, right, that's a brand of sneaker.
I quit that job after five days. No amount of scare tactics would work. You are lucky to even have a job in this economy, there is a 15% unemployment rate in the county. What about the holidays? You need money for gifts for the kids!
For many reasons including being too far from home and discovering, only after being hired, that I would be responsible for educating volunteers 2 nights a week, 2 months out of the year for 3 additional hours, on top of my regular work day without comp-time or extra pay, I also realized that my boss, with the same amount of education as I, was a solecist who implacably chipped away at my duty to feign respect for her position of authority.
Aside from bringing up negative feelings that made me wonder how in the Hell this woman could possibly be anyone's boss, it also had the opposite effect- I am going to conjure up my own list of bullshit words! Feel free to add to the list, but here is what I have so far:
1. Deprivate
2. Condemnate
3. Reasonified
4. Agreeance
5. Confirmate
6. Economified
7. Vocabulate and Vocabulize
8. Informate
9. Computate
10. Illumified
11. Confrontated
12. Romantical
13. Stupidify
14. Embarrassful
15. Referented
16. Aks
16. Aks
Hit me with some goodies and soon you, too, can be the arbiter elegantiarum, perpetuating and mocking the fine art of grammar.
